Today

I guess it's the first time I'm blogging the day's events...well, just came in the office to find my department empty (anyway there are just 2 people sitting, my senior and I). It's nice to have the whole department to yourself and work in peace...it's not that I've got a nagging boss, in fact he's not at all interfering, and is pretty cool. But again, it's peaceful to be alone.

Had gone for a jog in the morn to Mahalaxmi race course (it's just beside the place where I'm presently putting up). Gotta do this thing regularly, as it is one of the main contributors to my present 'feel good' feeling. Makes you feel really vibrant and active. And it's a nice place too, for mornin' fitness.

No mails in the mailbox...just a few stock updates...anyway, gotta get back to work now...don't know what else to write...haven't got any interesting comments on my blogsite either...guess not many of my friends know that I blog...considering shooting off a mail to let them know...

Lost Innocence?

Have we all lost our innocence? I am aware that people read others’ blogs, and to remove that from my mind, and write my blog with complete innocence is literally not possible. Writing for myself is not just the same. Does my blog reflect my thoughts with complete purity? Or do I interspace my thoughts with words that could gain public endorsement? Well, I just read about a theory that could provide answers to the above questions. A friend has written about this on his blog, and I could relate to it instantly. It’s the AFT theory. To make a short story long, it’s the Audience Factor Theory. To state the same in his own words, the AFT says we do a lot of things for the potential claps that we might get from the audience who might hear the story. He’s also spoken about the NFA syndrome, which most of us have. NFA is the Need For Acceptance / Approval.

Why do we need acceptance? Why can’t we just be ourselves, without worrying about whether our stance would be accepted or not? Is it actually possible that we simply do not bother about what others think, and be ourselves? I doubt whether even the people with their famous ‘I Don’t Care’ attitude live on their own terms. Does living in a society strip us of our right to live our own life? To present ourselves as we are, without even a hint of pretence?

There was a story I read yesterday, in which a painter was searching for a face that reflected the divine, so that he could paint a portrait that reflected life. After a long search, he finally found a shepherd, whose face was so innocent, so beautiful, and so radiant, that he instantly knew that this was the face he was searching for. He painted an exact portrait, and that portrait sold like hot buns. Many years passed, and the painter realized that life is not as divine as it used to seem. So he thought why not paint a portrait that showed the devil in life. He again went on a search. He searched for a face that reflected the devil incarnate. After a long search, he found a person, who had committed seven murders, and was to be hanged. His face was so ugly, that it only reflected hate. The painter knew that this face would be a perfect complement to his earlier painting of the divine face. He completed the portrait, and it was again a masterpiece. He was admiring his own work when he heard a sob. He looked back, and saw the murderer crying. He asked, “Friend, why are you crying? Does this picture disturb you?” He was astonished on hearing the answer. The murderer replied, “Sir, I am the same old shepherd, whose portrait you painted many years back, and now I have fallen from the divine to the devil!”

So coming back to the previous question, do we all present ourselves completely, or do we just present our socially acceptable sides? Well, I guess it’s not at all wrong to hide our ‘darker’ sides, but the least we could do is to accept the duality that exists in us, as well as any other person.

We all need clothing…salute to the person who can come out naked.

Why blog?

Why do I blog? Previously, I have written a few positive points about blogging, but then why do I blog? Do I blog for myself? Just to make me aware of a few things previously unknown to me, by writing about them? Or do I blog to store my memories, my thoughts, and my experiences. But then am I trying to hold on to them (memories, thoughts, and experiences), by storing them somewhere? Am I trying to cling to the past? Or am I venting them out through blogging, and living in the present? But the previous question again...do I blog for myself? Or is it that somewhere in my mind, I know that people (known / unknown) are going to read it? Do I blog to make them aware of my way of thinking? But known people (possibly) already know me quite well, and what difference would it make if come unknown person reads my blog? (Is anyone unknown? It is said that every person knows every other person on this earth through a maximum of seven links!). Maybe s/he could add comments, and bring in more clarity to my mystified thoughts...maybe it could help similar minded people share their thoughts / experiences. So is there any rationale behind blogging? Yes, there is, but it is different for different species of people. And as long as it serves their purpose, good for them.

Frames

I just had a thought. It could be termed as wierd once anyone hears about it, as I myself found it to be a bit wierd, and was also surpirsed when it came to my mind. Is it possible...that nothing is moving anywhere, everything is as still as still can be. Just like in a movie, where the actual characters are not moving at all, but we view the frames with a speed that makes us feel that they are moving. Could life be the same? Is THIS what seers meant when they spoke about the world being an illusion? That we are not actually moving, or eating, or walking, or speaking, but we only FEEL like we are doing things, when in actuality we are just there...the frames are already set. Then what meaning does it give to life? Or are there alternate frames available, which we could take. For example, when we are at crossroads, we could take either of the roads. Frames for both the roads are already set...it all depends on which road we take. Again on choosing one road, there would be another set of crossroads to take on the road that we previously chose. So is it all about choosing what you want? If it is so, then is it really possible, that NOTHING is impossible? We could literally choose ANY thing for our own life! But again, is it so simple? If it is, then what could be stopping us from doing what we want, living the life that we like? Is it our past conditioning, which makes us choose the same paths over and over again? Which makes us think that we have no control over what happens in our life?
Any comments are welcome.