Agony

How ironical is the fact that when I feel like making optimum use of every moment for my growth, I see most activites as trivial and useless, and end up doing nothing. Most of the things seem either blatantly pointless, or inconsequential. Am I being too egoistic here? Maybe, maybe not. It's not that I feel I'm too great to do such frivolous things that look 'ordinary', but it's just that I feel there are better things that could challenge my capabilities to a much larger extent.

I don't know whether I'm using the right words to express my state of mind. Words are, more often than not, misleading.

And then there are those things that I know would add value. But my human nature of laziness comes to the fore and I feel satisfied in knowing that there is something of value that I can do, and leave it at that. Why don't I just go ahead and DO it? There have been many instances where I knew what I had to do to get out of the inertia, but felt contented in just knowing that. Of course, I will not put the blame entirely on myself, as there have been times when just as I was about to DO it, something happened that stopped me from doing it at that moment. And once I lose the enthusiasm for a thing, it takes time for it to build again.

Taking a small example, I know I feel better after writing my thoughts. I like to write. But it's been ages since I updated my blog. Just a few days back I was writing something in a new post in my blog when suddenly there was a power breakdown. And then I lost the enthusiasm to write everything again. I may be sounding as if I'm complaining...I am.

Even as I write this, I hope there won't be any 'external' interference before I click on the 'Publish Post' link. I'm not going to write all this again...there are better things to do in life...

New life!

I just shifted to a new place yesterday. It's a two bedroom apartment, and I'll be having one room, and another guy living in the other. It's an exciting feeling to be moving in a new apartment, all by myself, and living independently. But there's a slight bit of anxiety which, I guess, is natural.

Did a lot of shopping in the last 3 days. Bought a few new-home-starter-kits, such as cooking set, dinner set, grocery storage set, bed, pillow, room heater, grocery, instant food, vegetables, electric cooker, etc. Cleaned the room thoroughly, and setup everything in the room, as well as in the kitchen, yesterday.

It's good fun living alone, but I'm lucky to have quite a lot of friends staying very close by, so I can go and visit them anytime. My cousin's place is just two blocks away, so I guess even that is an advantage.

Hardly got time to get acquainted to the new surroundings, as I had to get up early and come to college for a full-day of editing! And I think the schedule would remain the same for the next three days. I'm just hoping I'll get some time for cooking my own food, otherwise I'll have to survive on instant food!

Missing India a lot, but enjoying a different life here!

I received a mail from DailyOM, and thought it would be nice to share it...so here goes...

Just as a good relationship can have a positive impact on your life, stressful, draining, or imbalanced relationships can have negative effects on your health and well-being. It's common to maintain a relationship because we feel the other person needs us or we believe that they will eventually change. We may also be afraid of hurting the other person or feel insecure in our ability to find new relationships. But knowing when to end a relationship and acknowledging that the pain will pass can often prevent greater pain and feelings of loss in the long run.

If you're in a relationship that isn't satisfying or one that has become unhealthy for you, rather than spending energy attempting to fix the problem or complaining, ask yourself what you really want from the relationship. Consider whether the other person truly considers your feelings or if they are willing to change their behavior. Ask yourself if you've often thought about ending the relationship or if you feel your bonds have atrophied. While every relationship has ups and downs, when there are more downs than ups or the two of you are bringing out the worst in each other, it may be time to sever the connection. Be honest with yourself and your answers, even if the truth is painful.

Relationships thrive on honesty, communication, mutual caring, and time spent together. When one or more of these elements are missing, it may be that the relationship, no matter how passionate, simply isn't worth it. It's far better to end a relationship that doesn't feel right than to hold on to it and languish in feelings of anger or resentment. Moving on without struggle, on the other hand, can be the door that leads you to a more nurturing relationship in the future.

Back to work

It's been a long break...almost 4 months...since I left ICICI. But I've learnt that man cannot be inactive for long periods...if I can generalize that from my personal experience...and here I am...back to work! It's not that I've 'wasted' these 4 months, on the contrary, I've learnt quite a lot. But just lazying away at home is not the thing for me, and I couldn't resist the idea of working! Yeah, really...

So looking forward for myself to be fully occupied before I join the film school..

Growth & Happiness

Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.
-Mahatma Gandhi